I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
