Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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