please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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