Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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