My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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