he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
