I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
