Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
