At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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