I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
