May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
