He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
