There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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