it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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