Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he fucked my hip out of place.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
