'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
