He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
