I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
