I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
