i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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