Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
