I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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