remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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