apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
