You're a womanizer and a bitch.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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