The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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