I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
