Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
