ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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