Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
