He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
