You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
