he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize