i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
