Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need water and some morals
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