My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
