is your mom at the bar?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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