this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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