remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize