What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
