Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
