Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
