My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
