The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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