do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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