my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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