My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
