I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's never too late to be topless.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
