Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
