i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Randomize
