dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
