i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
