please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
