these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
