She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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